some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
