why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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