i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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