We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
