I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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