im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
