I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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