you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
