Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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