Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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