i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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