that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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