I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
last night I used snow as a chaser
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
