these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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