Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
