get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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