The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
