What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
