so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
