Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
