So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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