we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize