I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
