We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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