Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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