sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I supernannyed him into submission
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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