I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
