ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize