I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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