Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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