They should really pass out barf bags in church
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
