I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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