I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
