i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
