She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
