Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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