I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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