i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize