yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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