plz talk dirty to me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
