It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
