Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
