He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
