And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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