I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
