it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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