If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
