The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
