If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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