But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
