Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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