my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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