dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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