6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
