sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
