Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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