I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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