1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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