I got chris browned last night
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
