dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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