The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
