just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
